Who Do You Look Up To?

There are some of us that come from solid family units 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 and then there are others who came from “broken homes” where Dad/Mom was absent and we had to figure out how do deal with life for ourselves.🚶🏽‍♂️ Some had mentors who stepped in to help and some of us grew up on our own, learning from our mistakes along the way. And then there’s others who haven’t learned values and respect yet, even as an adult. 😟

When I talk with men, there is a theme that is consistent across the board: the male figure influence in childhood and its MASSIVE impact on how they relate to the world as adults. 💡 I would argue that the male figure influence in a boy’s life is THE single most important aspect in ANY child development (yes…I argue that it’s more important than girls and their relationships to their father/mother. 💯) A boy who feels that he’s not good enough for his father’s love almost always grows up with emotional struggles/trauma that deeply affect his personal relationships. 🙇🏽‍♂️ And that has a massive ripple/domino effect on how that man relates to the world around him, many times acting out in all kinds of destructive ways.

We’ve all heard the statements about women who have “daddy issues”. 🙄 But I argue that women have support even if they have had struggles with their fathers growing up. Men do not have the same support as it pertains to their lack of a male figure, a mentor 🕴🏻who they can look up to in order to learn how to be a man.

Boys/men do not have the same role models or support as girls/women do. Men are just expected to figure it out. 😕 There is very limited conversation around what happens when a boy does not have a good male role model. 🤔 So when an adult male acts inappropriately we focus on the things he’s doing wrong and not the root cause of WHY he’s doing them. 😔

❓I ask the men out there, who do you look up to for guidance in life? As a boy, who did you have in your life that supported you emotionally and was a role model? And if you didn’t have that role model, how did you learn how to be a man and what that means to you? 💬 And how have you learned what NOT to be?

Kira MamulaComment